I believe in timing.
I believe things happen in an order, though often unbeknownst to us.
I believe in the beautiful symbolism we find through the mundane.
I believe in second chances. And third, fourth, fifth chances.
I believe in making mistakes- it’s really the only way we learn.
I believe that most things in life will bring us pain, as well as joy;
triumph, as well as loss; reckless abandon, as well as tedium.
The last year of my life has seen some drastic, life-altering change. It has been the most difficult season of my life, thus far. But I would never trade it, never put it back on the shelf in pursuit of some other life. Never. Great pain was experienced, but also great joy. Difficult, life-altering lessons were shoved down my throat, bite after excruciating bite.
But I re-discovered Him.
Yahweh, Savior, Comforter, Judge, Confidant, Friend, Abba-Father, All in All. I found Him in the midst of my tumultuous life, in spite of myself. My self-destruction was necessary in order for Him to dwell fully within me. My dying to self made it possible for Him to come alive again in me.
Death to life.
Is that not what compels us?
A life where we are commanded to die to our sinful, arrogant, self so that He may have the victory?
I can honestly say it was worth it. Every heartache, every tense breath, every tear, every doubt. His love and mercy and grace has given me the courage to face another day, find purpose in His plan, and understand more fully what it means to be His child.
Through Christ, we have been given life, not death; grace, not judgement. He gives us peace, compassion, truth. His promises are abundant, spoken on every mighty breath of wind and also in the terrifying silence of our hearts.
So here is to new life. One filled with more of Him, less of me. More peace, patience, purity, passion, strength, truth, gentleness, knowledge, joy, pain, blessing. HIM.
I believe in millionth chances.
I believe He will continue His miraculous work in me, in all of us.
And I look forward to it.